You can follow me here:

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Read more
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Read more
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Read more
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Read more
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Read more

Hurt Magic Rainbow

No Comments
Hurt Magic

Hurt Magic Rainbow

One of my memoir readers wrote and asked me to make a children’s book for abused and/or traumatized kids. She knew I was an artist, and wanted me to make a book that would help children the way my memoir helped her; to get something to kids and help them with the trauma from bullying or abuse before they grow up into traumatized adults. I thought long and hard about it, and decided to tackle the inner dialogue damage hurt children do to themselves, like I did to myself when I was little. That became Hurt Magic. When I first started sketching out the character (me when I was in second grade), a rainbow from the crystals in my window drifted over her little face and just…hovered there. I started laughing and thought, “Well, that’s a good sign, haha!” Here’s a photo of it. I love it.

The Wiggly Trauma of Creating

No Comments

I’ve always been Bert from Mary Poppins creatively. Drawing, painting, writing, embroidering, sugar work, speeches and such. After I got disabled physically, my friend told me, “Well, this can be a good thing. You’re now being forced to do what you’ve always wanted to do anyway, which is to write and create. So get at it.” Boy, was he right. It’s been wonderful to finally be able to do all these projects I’ve had to put on the back burner for years. Now, four books later and a manuscript in the final edit, with a long list still to do, I am so grateful for the wonderful home my sister-from-another-mother has given me, where I can write and draw all these incredible things in peace, without having to waste time with nonsense. A children’s book to help traumatized and/or bullied kids (bullying is at plague status currently), my memoir now in a zillion different forms, including an audio read by me, a science fiction novel inspired by an idea from my screenwriter pal (he’s working on turning it into a mini series from my writing), a second children’s book also illustrated and written by me that’s finished and ready to go. And now, at long last, my beloved stepdad Charlie’s first book of the trilogy on my final edit. As most of you know, he was a Marine in World War ll and fought on Bougainville, Guam and Iwo Jima. I’m doing one book per island. Bougainville is basically done. It’s made me twitchy and wiggly and often weepy, but I’ve written it as close to his hours of interviews and transcribed tapes as possible. He lived long enough to read the first screenplay. Boy, was I sweating bullets, sitting there as he silently read the entire thing in one go. When he finished, he looked at me and said, “You got it. I don’t know how, but you got it.” I’ll never forget that unbelievable moment. I’ve never been to war. I’ve never experienced anything close to it. So his saying that to me, so bluntly, so miraculously, is one of the most cherished moments of my life. I can’t wait for you all to read about this man I loved so much. Everybody who knew him loved him. We were all lucky to know him. Even back then, when he was still just a kid with a rifle, thrown into a meat grinder, he was beloved. What a story. Amazing man who literally helped save the world. These books will show exactly how he, and thousands of his fellow reluctant warriors, did that.

Categories: All

WTF, Brain?

Every once in a while, even now, Insecurity likes to pounce on me. It’s lurking most of the time, quiet and irritated that I don’t hate myself anymore. But there are times when my insecurity addiction finds a weak spot and takes a nice bite out of my ass before I wrestle it back to the shadows where it belongs. I used to get mad at myself for “letting it happen,” but now I recognize that I’m an addict. Sure, it’s a behavioral addiction, but that doesn’t make it less than substance abuse. I’m gonna stumble, I’m gonna fall, and I’m gonna get back up again. Sometimes I even miss it; miss that feeling of misery and self blame. Being a bully, even to yourself, is a helluva rush. It’s bizarre, missing something so horrible, so bad for me, but that’s addiction. Eventually, I get myself up, wipe off the remnants of the dip in the bog of eternal stench (self hatred), and move forward again. So don’t beat yourself up for stumbling and the occasional splash down into the shit again. Dry land is waiting just up ahead.

Categories: All